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Can't Miss Slants

Power Rankings: Week 13

Its week 13.  Here is the relative strength of NFL Franchises, according to me.

RANKTEAMHAWT TAEK
1Dallas CowboysMinnesota gave them a challenge. Cowboys returning to earth, or Minnesota's defense giving one last gasp to save their season?
2New England PatriotsI actually don't believe they can win the super bowl without Gronk.
3Oakland RaidersKeep finding ways to win. I guess they already arrived.
4Kansas City Chiefs They keep finding ways to win. I guess they finally arrived.
5Seattle SeahawksEarl Thomas gone with a broken leg. Seriously, everything is coming up Cowboys.
6Denver BroncosI still like this team to get in the playoffs, but I don't think they are good enough defensively to overcome incompetent quarterback play this year.
7Detroit LionsWhat in the mother fuck.
8Baltimore RavensWe'll see how real they are this week.
9Tampa Bay BuccaneersSeriously, what in the mother fuck.
10Atlanta FalconsThe Chiefs are a good team, and that's a heartbreaking way to lose. But overall, I am not liking the trend.
11New York GiantsIt is tempting to drop them further after that ugly effort, but the record remains strong.
12Pittsburgh SteelersThe 2016 zombie team: just won't die.
13Houston TexansThey get a happy return to playing within their own division for three of the last four.
14Miami DolphinsAfter a nice run, they were hammered by Baltimore. Still, they have an outside shot at the post-season.
15Washington RedskinsTheir loss is the Packers' playoff picture gain.
16Indianapolis ColtsEmbarrassing the Jets: not impressive, but fun.
17Tennessee TitansMaking a big move during their bye. Nice.
18Green Bay PackersThis only makes me happy because...
19Minnesota Vikings... it feels legit to put them above the Vikings for the first time all year.
20Arizona CardinalsTheir best game of the season keeps the NFC playoff picture muddied.
21Buffalo BillsLosing to the Raiders on the road is not shameful. Losing that lead kinda was.
22San Diego ChargersYOU BLEW IT!!!
23New Orleans SaintsYOU BLEW IT!!!
24Cincinnati BengalsMan the Eagles suck now.
25Philadelphia EaglesMan this team sucks now.
26Carolina PanthersRemember 2015? Good times.
27Los Angeles RamsYou sure you don't want to send them back, Hollywood?
28New York Jetsrekt
29Chicago Bearsomg winning games
30Jacksonville JaguarsBad.
31San Fransisco 49ersWorse.
32Cleveland Browns0-16! 0-16! 0-16!