His name is Bobert Paulson. His name is Bobert Paulson. His name is Bobert Paulson.
Chicago Bears
The Bears are bad in the usual bad way, and are hosting the Dolphins at Noon on Sunday. The Dolphins are possibly good. If they are good they should win.
Detroit Lions
The Detroit Lions are bad in that specifically horrific way that is preserved for just a few franchises. They are caught in a wormhole of suck, never to escape. They are hosting the Packers, who are bad in a usual way but that is unusual for them. If the Packers cannot win this game they should walk off the end of Door County.
Green Bay Packers
Last seen inching towards the end of Door County.
Minnesota Vikings
OMG the Viking are like, super good you guys. They are going to play the Commanders in Washington this week and I just know they will win again and be 7-1. Do you know they rank 10 in scoring offense! Fun! The vibe around the twin cities is great. Everyone is really excited and it just is the best tailgating experience right now. What a great time to be a Minnesotan!