His name is Bobert Paulson. His name is Bobert Paulson. His name is Bobert Paulson.
Hello. The “Big Game” is coming up, but not until February 4th, 2018. That’s right folks, there is no football this weekend. What the heck to do, eh? We can just go outside or see people or do other lame life things. So here are some things to watch.
Washington Bullets at Oklahoma City Thunder
What: NBA Basketball
Where: TNT
When: Thursday, January 25, 7:00 p.m. CST
Why: Westbrook >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Wall
Why not: Bullets are, in fact, hot trash lately.
Minnesota Timberwolves at Golden State Warriors
What: NBA Basketball
Where: TNT
When: Thursday, January 25, 9:00 p.m. CST
Why: Golden State is the team of the last 25 years, and playing salty lately.
Why not: The Wolves are not good enough to have a real chance to win. Jimmy Butler is likely missing the game, which means a TruMassacre is in the works.
Hyeon Chung vs. Roger Federer
What: Men’s Tennis, Australian Open Semifinal
Where: ESPN
When: Friday January 26, 2018, 2:30 a.m. CST
Why: Chung is a 21 year old next generation player with preternatural defensive skills, and Federer is the GOAT with offensive weapons to spare. Something has to give.
Why not: It is on at 2:30 a.m. CST
Houston Rockets at New Orleans Pelicans
What: NBA Basketball
Where: ESPN
When: Friday January 26, 2018, 7:00 p.m. CST
Why: The Rockets are undefeated when in full health, and the Pelicans have the most modern Twin Towers imaginable.
Why not: Pelicans are under-achievers likely to be blown off the court.
Simona Halep vs. Caroline Wozniaki
What: Women’s Tennis, Australian Open Final
Where: ESPN
When: Saturday January 27, 2018, 2:30 a.m. CST
Why: Both players have been consistently good, never great, and one will finally win a grand slam.
Why not: It is on at 2:30 a.m. CST. Both players are defensive-minded, and somewhat monotonous.
NHL All Star Skills Competition
What: NHL All Star Skills Competition
Where: NBCSN
When: Saturday January 27, 2018, 6:30 p.m. CST
Why: You actually should not watch this.
Why not: Why?
UFC Fight Night Jacare vs. Brunson 2
What: UFC Fight Night Jacare vs. Brunson 2, except Jacare has been replaced by Ronald Souza.
Where: FOX/FS1
When: Saturday January 27, 2018, 7:00 p.m. CST
Why: Knockouts are fun, and Brunson is known to cause them.
Why not: Its not that good of a card.
Marin Cilic vs. Hyeon Chung/Roger Federer
What: Men’s Tennis, Australian Open Final
Where: ESPN
When: Sunday January 28, 2018, 2:30 a.m. CST
Why: Federer will likely be in this match, and aiming for his 20th major. Cilic was beating Federer in last year’s Wimbledon final when he suffered the ugliest blister ever. Plus he’s handsome.
Why not: It is on at 2:30 a.m. CST.
NHL All Star Tournament
What: NHL All Star Tournament
Where: NBC
When: Sunday January 28, 2018, 2:30 p.m. CST
Why: They do a 3 on 3 tournament now, which is neat.
Why not: You don’t like hockey very much.