Reading is dumb so just look at the table.
| Rank | Team | Comments |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kansas City Chiefs | The only person that could make the throws Mahomes does is Aaron Rodgers. |
| 2 | Tompa Bay Buccaneers | Brady Brady Brady Brady Brady Brady |
| 3 | Buffalo Bills | Bills Mafia probably suffers another heart breaking loss in a big game |
| 4 | Green Bay Packers | NFC North rejoices as Rodgers takes his farewell tour of the division. |
| 5 | Baltimore Ravens | That RB is an ok QB |
| 6 | Cleveland Browns | Baker Mayfield was made for insurance commercials. |
| 7 | L.A. Rams | This is Staffords shot to prove its the lions that Suck and not entirely him. |
| 8 | Tennessee Titans | Julio is washed. |
| 9 | Seattle Seahawks | Wilson will get out to a hot start to garner the attention of never receiving an MVP vote and then suck down the stretch. |
| 10 | Dallas Cowboys | Year 2 of Mike McCarthy's offense. Maybe it will work with a healthy Dak. |
| 11 | San Francisco 49ers | Losing their DC could spell trouble for a team with no QB. |
| 12 | Pittsburgh Steelers | Big Ben sucks. |
| 13 | Arizona Cardinals | JJ Watt can't save you. |
| 14 | Indianapolis Colts | Nice trade for an injured QB you fucking mooks. |
| 15 | L.A. Chargers | Your QB could be good, too bad nobody will notice. |
| 16 | Minnesota Vikings | Kirk Cousins will single handedly pray covid away. |
| 17 | Miami Dolphins | Tua sucks you should just trade for Watson already. |
| 18 | New England Patriots | Bill must cry holding a picture of Tom Brady every night now that he's stuck with Cam Newton. |
| 19 | Las Vegas Raiders | Imagine giving Jon Gruden a 10 year contract. |
| 20 | New Orleans Saints | Taysom Hill won this. |
| 21 | Washington Wokes | Just pick a name already. |
| 22 | Atlanta Falcons | At 22 you have a lot of rising up to do. |
| 23 | Chicago Bears | Soldier's Fields is the second worst Fields in Chicago. |
| 24 | New York Giants | Bad. |
| 25 | Carolina Panthers | Not good. |
| 26 | Philadelphia Eagles | What a shit show. |
| 27 | Denver Broncos | Remember when Aaron Rodgers was going to be their QB? |
| 28 | Jacksonville Jaguars | Nice Tebow signing. Why don't you sign Dez Bryant next and put him at Linebacker. |
| 29 | Cincinnati Bengals | Joe Burrow is probably the 3rd best QB out of the 2020 draft. |
| 30 | New York Jets | You're the second saddest thing involving planes to happen to New York. |
| 31 | Detroit Lions | The Lions are back to where they feel most comfortable. |
| 32 | Houston Texans | And to think this team looked young and promising just a few seasons ago. |