Don’t Mock Me. 2019 – Five Yard Slant

It me. Here’s the NFC North 2019 Mock Draft. This is future fact folks. Don’t mock me if it’s wrong.

Detroit Lions

Time for Quinn magic or a broken LKP tv.

Round	Pick	Player	Position	Comments
1	8	Clein Ferrell	DE	Stud DE for the left side. Hall of famer unless he goes to a different team
2	43	Deebo Samuel	WR	Slot city bitch slot slot city bitch. Deeeee boooooo
3	88	Connor McGovern	OG/C	Stud guard starter from Penn State with versatility
4	111	Isiah Johnson	CB	Depth at DB. Johnson ha
5	146	Clayton Thorson	QB	Woude will hate this guy now. As good as Northwestern can offer
6	184	Wyatt Ray	EDGE	BC guy reunited with Pasqualoni. Like a ray of sunshine off the edge
6	204	Cameron Smith	LB	USC guy. Depth. His name is not funny at all
7	224	Jamal Peters	CB	Ha, Peters
7	229	Byron Cowart	DL	Won’t be a Cowart anymore, will roar like a Lion

Chicago Bears

They don’t have a 1^st and 2^nd round pick folks. Call NFL Network and ask who they should take.

Round	Pick	Player	Position	Comments
3	87	Amani Hooker	S	Bears fans love hookers and Dix is clearly not the answer.
4	126	TJ Edward	OLB	Good Wisconsin guy for Packer fans to hate.
5	162	Gary Jennings	WR	Another G Jennings to take his talents to Minnesota soon
7	222	Terry Godwin	WR	God always wins
7	238	Kevin Givens	DL	Undersized stud from Penn State. Given to the Bears

Green Bay Packers

Gutekunst will do more fleecing than the Ba Ba Black Sheep nursery rhyme. Stupid Saints not caring about the future after Brees.

Round	Pick	Player	Position	Comments
1	12	Jonah Williams	OT	His name was Jonah, holding the D-ends- Weezer
1	30	Marquise Brown	WR	Some people call me the space cowboy, some call me Marquiiiisee
2	44	Juan Thornhill	S	Takes Juan to know Juan
3	75	LJ Collier	DL	Almost LL Cool J
4	114	Kris Boyd	CB	Avoid the Boyd if he becomes a good corner
4	118	Foster Moreau	TE	Foster the Moreau is almost a band. Or Island of Foster Moreau. That’s better
5	150	Drew Sample	TE	Sampling all the tight ends.
6	185	LJ Scott	RB	GREAT SCOTT
6	194	Shareef Miller	EDGE	Super stud from Penn State who left a year too early. New Shareef in town
7	226	Malik Gant	S	He Gant make the roster

Minnesota Vikings

Ricky Spielman adding to their embarrassment of riches.

Round	Pick	Player	Position	Comments
1	18	Garrett Bradbury	OG/C	Shooter special to the Vikings. No not a finger
2	50	Hakeem Butler	WR	Another bust big WR for them early. Hakeem the dream more like nightmare
3	81	Vosean Joseph	LB	It’s not about size. It’s the vosean of the ocean
4	121	Austin Bryant	EDGE	This is Austin- Blake Shelton
6	192	Ben Burr Kiven	LB	Ben Hurr or Aaron Burr was his kiven names
6	211	Jalin Moore	RB	They need Moore running back help
7	247	Gardner Minshew	QB	He can handle Cousins bush
7	250	Chidi Okeke	OL	Chidi Okeke Mulaka Bukkake. Sorry I passed out for a second.

The Draft is 8 PM ET tonight in Nashville on ABC, NFL Network and ESPN and probably ESPN The Ocho. Can’t wait to see who stays in the green room and gets pissed off and kills the Lions for years because of it. Some will laugh, some will cry, there will be trades to nullify this mock draft. Bears will trade up and give up 30 picks for a QB. But one thing is for sure, Mel Kiper will have great hair.

My dream is Ed Oliver or Josh Allen to the Lions or a trade down. Dreams will be shattered with TJ Hockensen probably. I’ll take Ferrell though or Taylor or Sweat or even Hockensen. Hell, I’ll love whoever the Lions pick. This article is over now. Bitch… Bye