The NFL makes its triumphant return to prime time tonight with the first round of the 2018 NFL Draft. Coverage is on ESPN, NFL Network, Twitter and the FYS Snapchap group chat.
Tonight, we’ll get answers to all of the burning questions that have tormented mock draft “experts” for months. How many quarterbacks will be taken in the first round? Which team will be stupid enough to draft Saquon Barkley, immediately making him one of the highest paid running backs in football at one of the most fungible positions? How early is too early to draft an offensive guard? Do the Vikings even have a first round pick?
I submit that we enjoy the next three days before MOCK DRAFT SZN turns into DRAFT GRADE SZN. But, before we do, I’d like to take a moment to talk about my Top 5 NFL Draft traditions.
5. The Chicago Bears making a pick that makes fans scratch their heads.
The Bears always seem to do something stupid in the first round of the draft. Whether it’s drafting a lineman famous for jumping out of a swimming pool or the Shea McClellin debacle, the Bears have a penchant for making bad moves. And who can forget the fans’ response to moving up one selection to draft Mitch Trubisky last year?
4. The Detroit Lions drafting a bad player in the first round.
Jarrad Davis. Taylor Decker. Laken Tomlinson. Eric Ebron.
That’s a resounding YUCK, fokls.
3. The Green Bay Packers drafting a defensive player who played a different position in college and/or is new to football.
As a Packers fan, I hope the team breaks with this tradition established by the now-former GM, Ted Thompson. Gone are the days that we draft a safety to play corner or linebacker (Damarious Randall, now in Cleveland), a basketball player to play corner (now-ded Quinten Rollins) or a 4-3 defensive end to play outside linebacker in Green Bay’s 3-4 defense (Datone Jones).
Here’s hoping Green Bay gets a big impact player. At least until the training staff ruins him.
2. The Minnesota Vikings drafting a wide receiver bust early in the draft.
Troy Williamson. Percy Harvin. Laquon Treadwell. Another YUCK, fokls.
1. The best tradition of all
Fuck you, Roger.