I'm just an average Joe. I live in a shoe box in my parents driveway with two dead hookers. I sprinkle cocaine on my cereal, because coffee just doesn't do it for me. Most days I have mild to moderate diarrhea, and all of my erections last more than four hours.
PROCTOLOGISTICS
We will make America strong again. We will make America proud again. We will make America safe again. And we will make America great again.
-Donald Trump
Well, boys and girls, we’re getting down to the end. I hope you’re all enjoying your holidays, I know I am. I’ll keep this short and sweet, and let your own words take us to the rankings.
YOU SAID IT
Big Deal – My friend was in prison. He said he had to join a gang or get reckt every day so he joined some white power guys. He said he had to either pay to get in, suk a dik or get the shit kicked out of him as entrance fee. His prison ID shows him with a swollen and purple face because he was broke and nohomo.
Raji –
DEAL SOME DRUGS AND GO TO PRISON
JOIN A GANGS YOUR BEST DECISION
GET BEAT UP OR PAY ADMISSION
OR SUCK A COCK FOR YOUR AUDITION
French Andy – the middle kid finally uncovered the sex toys location in my house. Lolhim
Preparation_A – he touched his mom’s dried vaj juice
Donny – I’m really amped for olympic curling season.
BP – I also curled in High School. #justwisconsinthingsapparently
theNichels – We didn’t have a curling team in HS because I didn’t go to a bitch high school
IT’S TIME TO RANK ‘EM AND SPANK ‘EM
Rank | Streak | Team | Record | Comments |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | W1 | Philadelphia Eagles | 13-2 | theNichels is a dick. |
2 | W3 | Carolina Panthers | 11-4 | Thatsalottapotatoes sucks ass. |
3 | W2 | New England Patriots | 12-3 | Donny likes to stick things up his butt. |
4 | W2 | Minnesota Vikings | 11-4 | CJammin is queer as a 3 dollar bill. |
5 | W2 | Los Angeles Rams | 11-4 | BP has AIDs. |
6 | W1 | Pittsburgh Steelers | 12-3 | Big Deal puts dog shit on his sandwiches. |
7 | W2 | New Orleans Saints | 11-4 | natesweet diddles young boys. |
8 | L1 | Jacksonville Jaguars | 10-5 | BWC is a retard. |
9 | W3 | Kansas City Chiefs | 9-6 | Gundy finger bangs orphans. |
10 | W2 | Baltimore Ravens | 9-6 | ASR swallows loads on the reg. |
11 | W1 | Seattle Seahawks | 9-6 | MKE has a tiny dick. |
12 | W1 | Los Angeles Chargers | 8-7 | theNichels is married to a Canadian, for fucks sake! |
13 | L1 | Atlanta Falcons | 9-6 | MIB is more rank then these rankings. |
14 | L1 | Dallas Cowboys | 8-7 | Natra floated a loan to his mother to front her hooking business. |
15 | L1 | Detroit Lions | 8-7 | SDL cheats on his taxes. |
16 | L1 | Buffalo Bills | 8-7 | Brickfinger thinks bacon sucks. |
17 | W2 | Washington Redskins | 7-8 | LOW eats peanut butter and crackers and tries to whistle with his mouth full. |
18 | L3 | Tennessee Titans | 8-7 | Shooter's mouth is usually full of cocks. |
19 | W1 | Arizona Cardinals | 7-8 | Krush jacks off to Anne Murray's greatest hits. |
20 | W4 | San Francisco 49ers | 5-10 | Horse refuses to brush his teeth. |
21 | W1 | Chicago Bears | 5-10 | Raji's breath smells like rotten ass. |
22 | W1 | Cincinnati Bengals | 6-9 | LKP only flushes the toilet once a week. |
23 | L2 | Green Bay Packers | 7-8 | MaC panics when people say hello to him. |
24 | L2 | Oakland Raiders | 6-9 | Reggie sticks a hose up his butt and sucks his farts. |
25 | L2 | Miami Dolphins | 6-9 | Curtis gives his mother a reach around when they hug. |
26 | L3 | New York Jets | 5-10 | Gundy eats his boogers. |
27 | L1 | Denver Broncos | 5-10 | Glove saves his belly button lint in a mayonnaise jar. |
28 | L5 | Tampa Bay Bucanneers | 4-11 | Andy scoots around naked on his carpet to clean his anal gland. |
29 | L5 | Houston Texans | 4-11 | TheHairy doesn't believe in vaccinations . |
30 | L6 | Indianapolis Colts | 3-12 | J.J. is a flat earther. |
31 | L5 | New York Giants | 2-13 | G&G is a lazy. low down, pud sucking, degenerate moron. |
32 | L15 | Cleveland Browns | 0-15 | theNichels voted for Donald Trump. |