His name is Bobert Paulson. His name is Bobert Paulson. His name is Bobert Paulson.
Falcons got jobbed
Packers slob knob
Panthers are shite
Bears fans can’t fite
Bucs slip while at rest
Vikes remain the best
The Saints marched on in
and the LOLoins won again.
Wait, that ending feels wrong. Oh well. RANKINGS
| RANK | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Minnesota Vikings | Good job, nice effort. |
| 2 | New England Patriots | They are so consistently good its boring. |
| 3 | Atlanta Falcons | I know they just lost to Seattle, but it was a hell of an effort on the road, the the missed PI really did matter. |
| 4 | Seattle Seahawks | They've been slowly climbing the rankings and have a strong argument for top three. Some things never change. |
| 5 | Dallas Cowboys | Hey everyone, I think we have to admit that Jerry Jones had both a smart plan (build from the line) and a great 2016 draft. |
| 6 | Buffalo Bills | Four straight wins with a lowest margin of victory of 11. |
| 7 | Pittsburgh Steelers | Ben will be back. |
| 8 | Oakland Raiders | A bad home loss could send a young team tumbling. |
| 9 | Denver Broncos | Nearly out of the top ten after a terrific start, but at least they can take solace in the fact that Thursday night games are often weird. |
| 10 | Houston Texans | It seems they will stay on top of a really bad division. |
| 11 | Green Bay Packers | They are still 3-2, but after that shellacking, and another poor Aaron Rodgers performance, they need a R-E-L-A-X moment soon. |
| 12 | Washington Redskins | How did the NFL East end up looking pretty strong? |
| 13 | Philadelphia Eagles | Back to back losses temper a fast start. |
| 14 | Kansas City Chiefs | Andy Reid likes coming off the bye almost as much as a good tusk battle for a cow. |
| 15 | Arizona Cardinals | It appears like Arizona may have a say in the playoff race after all, but I still want to see them beat a good team. |
| 16 | Detroit Lions | Detroit has fought their way into the top half of the league with two straight wins. *pukes* |
| 17 | Tennessee Titans | Seriously, doing these ranking really hones one in on the fact that the league is pretty awful this season. |
| 18 | New York Giants | I mean, my god, the Giants in the top 20? |
| 19 | Baltimore Ravens | Cue Tom Petty. |
| 20 | Cincinnati Bengals | Like the Cardinals, it has been difficult to give up on a team that is perennially solid. But the record speaks for itself. The schedule remains relatively difficult. |
| 21 | Los Angeles Rams | I want this team to be good, but they just are not. |
| 22 | San Diego Chargers | The lovable losers won! |
| 23 | Miami Dolphins | With a win over Ben-less Pittsburgh, Miami moves all the way to 23! |
| 24 | Indianapolis Colts | Luck had been playing sneakily decent (by the numbers), but could get nothing going against Houston. |
| 25 | Tampa Bay Buccaneers | I'm going to be honest and admit I just sorta forgot to rank these guys appropriately up around 20. |
| 26 | New Orleans Saints | Got some teeth left after all. |
| 27 | Carolina Panthers | The league's newest doormat! |
| 28 | Jacksonville Jaguars | Beating the Bears does nothing for me. Anyone can do that. *starts chewing fingernails* |
| 29 | New York Jets | I think its safe to remove the "darling" tag from this dumpster fire. |
| 30 | San Fransisco 49ers | So, Kaepernick then? |
| 31 | Chicago Bears | Not the worst! Again! |
| 32 | Cleveland Browns | I guess the LeBron/Indians magic just is not rubbing off. |