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Can't Miss Slants

Week 6 Nightmare

Week 6 was ugly and injuries struck the NFC North. Let’s take a look at the train wreck.

Taints 52 Lions 38: Fluke City/Concentrated Injuries Edition

First Half Misery

New Orleans (3-2) beat the Lions (3-3) due to Lions injuries and three (3) fluke interceptions. The Taints scored three (3) defensive TDs in the game and escaped from blowing a 35 point lead. This was an insane game.

The Taints started with one first down on the opening drive but were forced to punt. Thomas Morestead had a great punt and Nathan Stupar pinned the Lions at the one yard line. Detroit would need to go 99 yards but didn’t go very far.

On 3rd down, Alex Okafor eventually beat BACKUP LEFT TACKLE Greg Robinson for the strip sack fumble. Stafford held onto the ball too long and was limited in mobility due to his ankle/thigh injuries. Vaccaro recovered the strip in the endzone for the TD. Taints led 7-0.

Detroit responded on offense. Lattimore committed DPI as he did all day and Stafford scramble for another first down. Finally, Stafford hit Tate on the right sidelines. Tate made a man miss and broke another tackle with spin move for the 45 yard TD. Lions tied the game at 7.

Detroit’s run game suffered early as Haloti Ngata is on IR. Mark Ingram barely escaped the hobbled Ziggy Ansah for a 51 yard game. Brees hit Ted Ginn for the 20 yard TD and the 14-7 lead.

Detroit went 3 and out on the next drive and the Taints responded with a 69 yard play field goal drive with 25 yards to Hommanawanui and a 10 yard run by Kamara. Brees found Ginn again for 24 yards but the Lions clamped down on defense around the 23 yard line. Will Lutz nailed the field goal for the 17-7 lead.

Detroit responded with a 19 yard to Golden Tate. However, on first down, Cam Jordan beasted and strip sacked Stafford. Craig Robertson recovered and the Saints had a short field at the Lions 31 yard line. Brees connected with Snead and Ginn for first downs and Mark Ingram pounded it in from the one yard line. Taints were rolling up 24-7.

Detroit responded with a field goal drive but couldn’t convert a 3rd and 1 with BACKUP power back Zach Zenner. Prater connected on the 41 yard field goal and cut the lead to 14.

The Taints offense was still red hot. Kamara ran for 21 yards and New Orleans converted a huge 4th down at the Lions 41.Brandon Coleman nabbed a 20 yarder and Ingram converted a first down and touchdown. The Taints were in control 31-10.

Detroit got good field position as the Taints kicked the ball out of bounds when Agnew laid on the sidelines. Detroit moved inside the Taints 10 yard line but failed on all four downs. Stafford missed a wide open Riddick on 2nd down and the Taints got away with DPI in the endzone. Stafford hit Fells but he was tackled just short of the end zone on 4th down. The half was over after a Brees QB sneak from the one.

Second Half Lions Dominance then Saints Flukery

The Lions started with a three and out. The defense woke up and Slay won a 50/50 ball with Michael Thomas for Brees’ first interception of the season. Detroit started at the Taints 39 yard line but did nothing on offense. They gained one yard and then Prater missed a 56 yard field goal.

The Taints turned the good field position at their own 46 into another TD. Quin got injured with a bad concussion on the first play which is a huge blow for the Lions defense. A Lions offside gave the Saints a first down and Kamara ran for 11 and 14 yards. Finally, Brees found tight end Hoomanawanui for a TD and 38-10 lead.

It got worse for Detroit. A tipped pass ended up in Marshon Lattimore’s hands for a pick 6 and commanding 45-10 Taints lead.

Detroit woke up and decided to dominate this terrible Saints lucky ass defense. The Lions marched 5 plays in 75 yards and Stafford found Marvin Jones on a great one handed leaping catch despite DPI by Crawley. Detroit cut the score to 45-17.

Killebrew forced a big fumble of Mark Ingram on the next drive. Ansah recovered at Detroit’s 39 yard line. The Lions marched 61 yards, despite offensive line injuries. Stafford connected with Darren Fells for the 22 yard TD on 3rd and 17. 45-24

Detroit’s defense forced a 3 and out as they were upset but the Lions went 3 and out despite a good return by Jammal Agnew to the Taints 45 yard line. The Taints were shut down for a 3 and out again but this time Agnew wouldn’t be denied. Agnew returned the punt 74 yards for the TD and pulled Detroit within 14 with 11:03 to play. 45-31

The Taints again were shut down and went 3 and out. Detroit was dominating Brees and the Taints run game in the second half. The Lions managed one 24 yard first down to TJ Jones on offense but the drive again stalled with backup offensive line and no Golden Tate for Detroit.

Jeff Locke got a great punt and pinned the Saints at the 10. They moved to the 5 after a Tedd Ginn hold. Rookie Jalen Reeves-Mabin shot a gap and almost tackled Kamara for a safety. On 2nd and 14 from the one, A’Shawn Robinson stepped into the passing lane and made a great catch for the pick 6. Detroit was down only 45-38 with 6:41 to play.

The Saints again were stopped for a 3 and out up only one score. This time on the punt, Jamaal Agnew made a big mistake and muffed the punt and was almost tackled in the end zone. Detroit had to start at their own 1 yard line down 7.

After DPI on first down that was not called, Stafford passed again on 2nd down. Cam Jordan got a lucky tip (one of 12 lucky tips on the day for the Taints) and the ball miraculously floated in the air forever for Jordan to get the pick 6 in the end zone. The Taints led 52-38 due to sheer luck from 3 defensive scores.

Detroit had one last chance and got a DPI call finally on Crawley. However on 2nd down, a pass bounced off sure handed Theo Riddick’s hands and the Taints got another lucky interception. They had 3 lucky interceptions on the day with two of them going for TDs.

The Taints were shut down again but so were the Lions on offense without their offensive line with matching 3 and outs. The Taints had one final 3 and out but the Lions couldn’t score on the final drive with no time outs.

The Taints escaped with the luckiest win I have ever seen in my life. The Lions mounted a 35 point comeback but 3 fluke interceptions plus injuries to TJ Lang, Kenny Golladay, Rick Wagner, Greg Robinson, Taylor Decker, Haloti Ngata, Cornelius Washington, Kerry Hyder, Dwayne Washington and Glover Quin doomed Detroit.

Detroit miraculously has a bye week at the right time. They are 3-3 and need to get healthy to dominate the NFC North in the final 10 games.

Packers Get Collar Boned by Vikings

The Vikings dominated the Packers in Minneapolis with good defense and won 23-10. Some guy named, Aaron Rodgers, got hurt and broke his vagina. Ngata big loss. The Vikings now control the division at 4-2 with the tiebreaker. Green Bay might/may be in trouble without the only reason they win games.

Keenum hit McKinnon for 28 yards after a Brett Hundley interception. The tag n trade is voided. The Vikings fumbled and Green Bay scored on an 18 yard short field with a 14 yard TD pass to Davante Adams. Tag n Trade back on. The Vikings answered with an 8 play 84 yard drive. Keenum threw 3 first down passes and Josh Hawkins had a big DPI to start the drive. McKinnon ran for the 3 yard score and 14-7 Vikings lead.

Keenum was picked by Randall and the Packers got another short field. Green Bay drove into the red zone but the drive stalled. Crosby nailed the 26 yard FG and the Vikings led 14-10 at half.

The Vikings opened with a FG drive and forced a Packers punt. Minnesota march 66 yards for another field goal drive and the 20-10 lead. Hundley was picked off again (Tag N Trade Voided Again) and the Vikings converted the short field into a third field goal in the second half.

Minnesota led 23-10 and dominated the rest of the day on defense. Green Bay went 3 and out and had a turnover on downs. Finally, Hundley was picked for the third time on the day and the Vikings won with ease 23-10. Minnesota is now 4-2 along with Green Bay. The teams are going in opposite directions though.

Mitch TruWinsky

The Bears won a road game to complete an unbelievable day, despite giving up two special team TDs. The Bears offense showed good things with Trubisky and won 27-24 in OT.

The Bears built a 10-3 half time lead with a 21 yard TD pass to Zach Miller. The Bears had a short field after a Flacco interception. The Ravens offense is pretty terrible.

The Bears ran well on a drive in the second half and Trubisky finished it off with a 27 yard TD to Dion Sims. Chicago led 17-3. The Ravens answered with a 96 kick off TD return to cut the lead to 17-10.

The teams traded punts on drives. The Bears fumbled and the Ravens got a field goal from the short field and trailed 17-13.

On the next Ravens drive, Flacco overthrew his man and right to Adrian Amos. Amos had a great return of 90 yards for the Bears 24-13 lead. The Ravens countered with a field goal drive and got a stop on the Bears.

The Bears punted with 1:37 left up 24-16. Michael Campanaro took the punt to the house for 77 yards. The Bears gave up a kick and punt return in this game now. Flacco converted the two point conversion and the game was tied somehow.

Chicago did nothing to end the game on offense and it remained tied into OT. Both teams exchanged punts once in OT. Finally, Trubisky led a 71 yard drive and Connor Barth nailed the game winning field goal. Chicago won a road game and looked like a decent team on this day. Crazy day. The Bears are 2-4 and not out of the North battle quite yet.

The NFC North is wide open. Detroit needs to heal up and fix their pass protection and stop getting fluked on or boned by the refs. Green Bay hopes Hundley can keep them in the North race like Flynn did in 2013 (really Lacy, weak schedule and defense). The Vikings defense looks great but they need healthy QBs and a run game.  Bridgewater might/may return for Minnesota. The Bears found a little magic with Trubisky, have a run game and still get solid defense (though Ravens are terrible on offense). The last 10 games should be exciting.