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Can't Miss Slants

What’s Going On

1.  Schneider Can’t Even

It has long been rumored that Seattle Seahawks’ General Manager John Schneider had a clause in his contract allowing him to leave the Sound and return to Green Bay.  That’s not true.  While Packer fans have fantasized that Schneider would one day return and build another champion in his home state, that dream may have to wait a bit longer as Schneider recently signed a five year extension with the Seahawks.  Thanks to Ted Thompson’s undead existence, the Packers have time.

2.  PGA Championship

Round 2 of the PGA Championship is happening right now, and American Jimmy Walker currently leads by a stroke.  Watch it.  If you are into that kind of thing.  I guess.

3. SKOL!

Third string Vikings Quarterback Taylor Heinicke is out three months after attempting to kick in a door to a friends home after he had been locked out.  He missed, instead kicking a window, and suffered a torn tendon in his left ankle.  Heinicke reportedly was not drunk which, in my opinion, actually makes the affair look worse for him.  But it is none too surprising that a Vikings quarterback missed his intended target.

4. Amar’e Stoudemire Retired

Thus ends an era of difficulty in name spelling, and dunking on fools.  I really liked watching him play before his knees became so bad he could no longer purchase insurance on them.  Happy retirement.  Posterize white boys in NBA heaven.