It me. Your friendly neighborhood LKP. Taking you to a place to where the beer flows like wine and beautiful woman flock to like the salmon of Capistrano. I’m taking about BOLD predictions. Let’s get weird
First Non-Bold Prediction
Lions win the NFC North. They are FAVORITES to win the NFC North for the first time in the history of the NFC North. Might as well just hang the banner now.
Bold Prediction #1
The Detroit Motherfucking Lions make the NFC Championship game. We talking two (2) 2023 season PLAYOFF WINS, folks. Specimen team with an embarrassment of riches.
Lions have a top 3 offense and top 12 defense. Jared Goff 4,700 yards 35 TDs and 10 fluke interceptions and just misses MVP (to Jalen Hurts).
Lions defensive line top 10 in sacks and overall pressures. Good pass defense with revamped secondary but suspect in the run defense still as their flaw.
After an 8-2 finish in 2022, they dominate this bitch in 2023 at 12-5. Lions beat the Chiefs in Kansas City the first game of the season to set the tone. 5-1 in division. Sweep NFC South. Beat Oakland and Denver. Lose at Chargers, at Cowboys, at Ravens, Seattle (annoyingly) and at Green Bay (with me in person crying threatening to rip off the scoreboard at Lambeau).
Bold Prediction #2
Jordan 10VE is a top 12 QB and the Packers make the playoffs as wildcard at 11-6. The young weapons plus good offensive line and Aaron Jones help Jordan Love make everyone forget Soy Boi Aaron Rodgers.
Bold Prediction #3
Rams make the playoffs as 7th seed with Stafford back to form. 4,500 yards 30 TDs and 12 interceptions. My boi Stafford always makes me go bold ALWAYS.
Bold Prediction # 4
Vikings LAST PLACE in NFC North. First to worst as they hit the rebuild button and Kirk Cousins moves on in 2024 to a new team. 6-11. Justin Jefferson holds out and wants out of Minnesota like Diggs did next offseason.
Bold Prediction #5
Justin Fields does just enough as a passer ala Jay Cutler and gives the Bears fans hope. Revamped defense improved but not enough. 7-10 record. Bears top 20 defense.
Mainly Non-Bold Predictions
Jets and Aaron Rodgers miss the playoffs. Fuck em
Eagles win East with another big Hurts season and top seed, Cowboys Wild Card again, 49ers win the West and some shitty team wins the South.
Dolphins win the AFC East, Baltimore wins the AFC North, Kansas City wins the AFC West and the Jaguars win the AFC South. Bills, Chargers and Bengals are the Wild Cards.
Playoffs We Talkin Bout Playoffs Already
Wild Card Round
AFC
Jaguars over Chargers again
Bengals over Ravens again
Dolphins over Bills
NFC
Cowboys over NFC South
Lions over Packers at Ford Field. LKP 4Life
49ers over Rams
Divisional Round
AFC
Dolphins over Jaguars
Chiefs over Bengals
NFC
Lions over 49ers
Eagles over Cowboys
Championship Games
Eagles over Lions on a fluke/refs/wind game
Chiefs over Dolphins
Superb Owl Rematch
Eagles over Chiefs this time! 35-31
Book it!
IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, MOVE!