2023 Week 5 Power Rankings

Analysis Featured Off Topic Opinion Power Rankings Uncategorized

Detroit Lions a top 5 team folks.  I’m hearing that hell is getting pretty cold.  Anyway, just scroll to the comments and bitch about the fact that I moved the Bears up seven spots.

1 Push ArrowPushPhiladelphia EaglesBlah
2 Push ArrowPushSan Francisco 49ersBlah
3 Push ArrowPushKansas City ChiefsBlah
5 Up ArrowUp 1Miami DolphinsI bet someone on FYS has fantasized about doing a dolphin in its blowhole
6 Up ArrowUp 1Tampa Bay BucsHad a bye and move up. Yes, I'm lazy
7 Up ArrowUp 2Seattle SeahawksSee Tampa Bay Bucs
8 Down ArrowDown 3Buffalo BillsI wanted to drop them further, but seems like everyone lost
9 Down ArrowDown 1Dallas CowboysSee Buffalo Bills
10 Up ArrowUp 2Atlanta FalconsMeh
11 Up ArrowUp 2Pittsburgh SteelersI really don't care
12 Up ArrowUp 3Jacksonville JaguarsMember when they beat Buffalo in the land of people with bad teeth?
13 Up ArrowUp 3New Orleans SaintsThey have to go somewhere
14 Down ArrowDown 4Baltimore RavensHelp them Lamar!!!
15 Down ArrowDown 1Los Angeles ChargersYou don't play and I drop you 1. Don't like it? Don't have a bye.
16 Down ArrowDown 6Green Bay PackersJordan Love put the team on his back
17 Up ArrowUp 1Indianapolis ColtsBet you don't read this
18 Down ArrowDown 1Los Angeles RamsYou lost to Philly. No shame in that. LOLOLOL
19 Up ArrowUp 5New York JetsWay to hurt the Packers' pick
20 Up ArrowUp 6Cincinnati BengalsJoe and Ja'Marr; just like they were back in Baton Rouge
21 Up ArrowUp 6Las Vegas RaidersThey beat the Packers but I can't justify moving them up that much
22 Down ArrowDown 1Cleveland BrownsHow's that new QB working out?
23 Down ArrowDown 3Tennessee TitansThis is a good spot for you
24 Up ArrowUp 10Chicago BearsBEAR DOWN, BITCHES!
25 Push ArrowPushNew Engand PatriotsI don't care that you lost and are staying put
26 Up ArrowUp 2New York GiantsYou lost and you moved up
27 Up ArrowUp 3Arizona CardinalsMoved up too because…
28 Down ArrowDown 9Houston TexansImagine losing to the Falcons
29 Down ArrowDown 5Denver BroncosBet you wish you stayed retired, eh Sean?
30 Down ArrowDown 1Minnesota VikingsLOLVikings
31 Down ArrowDown 9Washington CommandersImagine losing to the Bears
32 Push ArrowPushCarolina PanthersI hope y'all extend Bryce Young right now



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I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi where I learned the three rules of life: Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.