Just go to the comments to see if the featured image triggered Shooter.
| Rank | Movement | Team | Comment |
|---|---|---|---|
1  | Push | Philadelphia Eagles | They had a scare |
2  | Up 2 | San Francisco 49ers | Member when the AFC was the better conference? |
| 3 | Push | Kansas City Chiefs | Bring Taylor Swift to a game, you stay put. |
| 4 | Up 1 | Detroit Lions | I can almost see LKP's boner from here. |
| 5 | Up 1 | Buffalo Bills | They really aren't Buffalos, they're Bison. |
6  | Down 4 | Miami Dolphins | Dolphins are mammals, unlike your mother |
| 7 | Up 5 | Tampa Bay Bucs | I really hate moving the Bucs up |
| 8 | Up 6 | Dallas Cowboys | Moobs > MLF |
| 9 | Up 6 | Seattle Seahawks | I've only been to the Seattle airport, yet I hate the city |
| 10 | Up 4 | Baltimore Ravens | I've never been to Baltimore, yet I hate the city |
| 11 | Down 2 | Green Bay Packers | Plays the failure song from the Price is Right |
| 12 | Down 5 | Atlanta Falcons | Ridder sucks |
| 13 | Down 5 | Pittsburgh Steelers | I don't know |
| 14 | Down 2 | Los Angeles Chargers | Lightning bolts may be one million volts |
| 15 | Up 2 | Jacksonville Jaguars | Wouldn't a jaguar in Jacksonville be called a 'Florida Panther'? |
| 16 | Down 5 | New Orleans Saints | Where's my paper bag? |
| 17 | Up 10 | Los Angeles Rams | Sean McVay is McGay |
| 18 | Down 2 | Indianapolis Colts | I'm alergic to horses |
| 19 | Up 9 | Houston Texans | Something about 0125 |
| 20 | Up 5 | Tennessee Titans | We are the Titans. Mighty, mighty Titans. |
| 21 | Down 1 | Cleveland Browns | WGAF |
| 22 | Down 4 | Washington Commanders | Are you even reading this? |
| 23 | Up 7 | Denver Broncos | Sean Payton won a game |
| 24 | Down 2 | New York Jets | Maybe they should sign Aaron Rodgers |
| 25 | Down 4 | New Engand Patriots | The Saints will lose to them this weekend. |
| 26 | Down 7 | Cincinnati Bengals | I've got nothing |
| 27 | Down 4 | Las Vegas Raiders | MiB was better at coming up with shit |
| 28 | Down 4 | New York Giants | The East side of NYS is shit. |
| 29 | Push | Minnesota Vikings | Is Shooter still on suicide watch or do we not care? |
| 30 | Down 4 | Arizona Cardinals | They suck |
| 31 | Up 1 | Duke | Zion is kicking ass |
| 32 | Down 1 | Carolina Panthers | Bryce Young is not kicking ass |
| 33 | New | Taylor Swift | Throws a football better than Gundy |
| 34 | Down 1 | Chicago Bears | If they keep losing, they'll have all 32 first round picks in 2024 |
I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi where I learned the three rules of life: Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.