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Can't Miss Slants

So, how about those Badgers?

Now that the 2014 NFL season has come to a close without a single important event yet to occur, sports fans have hit one of the truly slow times of year.  The NBA and NHL roll on in the midst of their 80-plus game seasons, and Major League Baseball will start up soon.  But nary a championship battle is in sight until March Madness in, well, March.

So, what can sports fans do to keep themselves entertained?  Here are a few ideas.

1.  Men’s Final – Australian Open – Sunday February 1, 2015

The men’s final of the Australian Open will occur this Sunday at approximately 2:00 a.m. CST.  I recommend one get toasted using their preferred method, sit down, turn on the television, and fall asleep.

2. 2015 Wheelchair Curling Championships – February 6-13

Come on.  You are curious how this works.  Plus the U-Night-Ed States of ‘Murica are still in the running.  USA! USA! USA!

3. NBA All-Star Weekend – February 13-15

Like watching guys dunk basketballs?!  Love it when a really tall person shoots well from a distance and through a basket?!  Get much entertainment from the lack of defense and showmanship?!  Excited at the prospects of Kobe Bryant not playing in a game where he is the only person taking anything seriously!  All-Star weekend is the thing for you!

4. Daytona 500 – February 22

5. Gulfstream Park Handicap – March 7, 2015

This one-mile dirt-track stakes classic, run since 1946, will feature a field of four-and-over horses looking to stave off the glue factory for one more year!  They will reek of desperation as they run an oval in search of the $300,000 payday that guarantees at least one more race before they feed man’s next best friend: pugs!