His name is Bobert Paulson. His name is Bobert Paulson. His name is Bobert Paulson.
Now that the 2014 NFL season has come to a close without a single important event yet to occur, sports fans have hit one of the truly slow times of year. The NBA and NHL roll on in the midst of their 80-plus game seasons, and Major League Baseball will start up soon. But nary a championship battle is in sight until March Madness in, well, March.
So, what can sports fans do to keep themselves entertained? Here are a few ideas.
1. Men’s Final – Australian Open – Sunday February 1, 2015
The men’s final of the Australian Open will occur this Sunday at approximately 2:00 a.m. CST. I recommend one get toasted using their preferred method, sit down, turn on the television, and fall asleep.
2. 2015 Wheelchair Curling Championships – February 6-13
Come on. You are curious how this works. Plus the U-Night-Ed States of ‘Murica are still in the running. USA! USA! USA!
3. NBA All-Star Weekend – February 13-15
Like watching guys dunk basketballs?! Love it when a really tall person shoots well from a distance and through a basket?! Get much entertainment from the lack of defense and showmanship?! Excited at the prospects of Kobe Bryant not playing in a game where he is the only person taking anything seriously! All-Star weekend is the thing for you!
4. Daytona 500 – February 22
https://vine.co/v/hxqFH5IPldv/embed
5. Gulfstream Park Handicap – March 7, 2015
This one-mile dirt-track stakes classic, run since 1946, will feature a field of four-and-over horses looking to stave off the glue factory for one more year! They will reek of desperation as they run an oval in search of the $300,000 payday that guarantees at least one more race before they feed man’s next best friend: pugs!