CYST: Wildcard Week

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I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi where I learned the three rules of life: Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

Well, here we are.  The playoffs.  Joy for some of us, sorrow for the rest of you losers.  The Lions missed the playoffs like I said they would back in week 8 and now LKP has to eat dog poop; we’ll get it from Donny’s dog because that poop will probably have the AIDS.  The Bears didn’t quite make the playoff cut, but I think I saw Trubisky practicing passes to the other side of the field, so there’s hope for next season.  The mighty Bucs and their QB of the future took a step back and won’t play football for the rest of this season.  Of course, that’s just a nice way of saying that they fucking sucked.  Then there are the Packers, or should I say, “LOLPACKERS”.  Their QB died, ded.  People getting fired left and right.  It’s a fucking dumpster fire; they even got swept by the Lions.  Yeah, I realize that their broke dick QB wasn’t playing, but you should never get swept by Detroit.  That’s like losing to Troy, at home, during homecoming.

Fret not young ones; FYS will be well represented in the 2017 NFL playoffs.  First up, we have the Atlanta Falcons, last season’s NFC champion and this year’s 6th seed.  Falcon fans aren’t as optimistic as they were last year, and Jammin isn’t telling us, but hey, at least they’re here and will play the resurgent Rams Saturday.  Next in line, we have the Carolina Panthers, the NFC champ from two seasons ago.  They could have won the South if they just beat Atlanta, but they decided to settle for the 5th seed.  The 4th seed, and NFCS Champion New Orleans Saints will host the Panthers this Sunday, a team that they’ve beaten twice already, so expect the score to be something like 52-6, Carolina.  That’s right, three NFCS teams are in the playoffs, but it’s a down year, so…  Last, but certainly not least are the Minnesota Vikings.  Minnesota compiled a 13-3 record, secured the number 2 seed, a first round bye and broke Aaron Rodgers.  Their season has been a YUGEEEEEEE and they have to be the favorites to win it all in front of their own fans.  That’s right, I’m crowing the Minnesota Vikings the Superb Owl LII Champions.

On with this shitshow.  Curtis, LKP, BP, Glove and myself each gained a point and all that really did to the standings is move Curtis into a tie for 8th place with Jammin and Jmac.  Collect your prize at the door, Curtis.  Reggie secured two points, thus opening up a bigger lead.  If we’re going to separate CYST into regular season and playoffs, then Reggie wins the regular season, so somebody should suck his dick.  If we look at the all games leader board, we will see that I am by far better than any of you.  I scored an FYS record 47 points.  Actually, I don’t know if it’s a record because I don’t think it’s ever been kept track of.  Doesn’t matter, I’m a studly stud.




Total Points:

  • None

(Couldn’t even close out the season strong)


Margin of Vctory:

  • Staffords_Glove, Minnesota Vikings over Chicago Bears by 13 points
  • thenichels, Minnesota Vikings over Chicago Bears by 13 points

(Glove and I > you)


Team Points:

  • Curtis Fryer, Minnesota Vikings 23 points in a win vs. the Chicago Bears
  • LKP, Detroit Lions 35 points in a win vs. the Green Bay Packers
  • bp, Chicago Bears 10 points in a loss vs. the Minnesota Vikings
  • Reggie, New Orleans Saints 24 points in a loss vs. the Tampa Bay Buccaneers



Against The Grain:

  • Reggie, Tampa Bay Buccaneers over New Orleans Saints (11.11%)

(This mother fucker. Picked against his own team. Fucking dick.)


Nailed It:

  • Empty

(I would like to point out that we’ve had a total of 7 nailed it’s this year)


Leader board:

FYS User Total Points CYST Points Scored Spread ATG Home Visitor
Reggie 20 0 1 5 2 4 8
LKP 18 1 1 4 3 6 3
thenichels 16 0 1 4 4 6 1
DanOnWis 15 1 3 3 1 3 4
Staffords_Glove 14 0 1 5 2 3 3
bp 12 0 5 1 0 4 2
potatoes 11 1 1 3 0 3 3
CJammin 8 0 0 3 1 3 1
Curtis Fryer 8 0 0 1 0 5 2
jmac34 8 0 1 2 1 3 1
Horse 6 0 2 2 0 2 0
Donny33 5 0 0 2 0 1 2
natesweet 5 0 2 0 1 2 0
sgunderson17 3 0 0 0 0 1 2
TheHairy1 3 0 0 1 0 1 1
0125 2 0 0 1 0 1 0
AllSaintsRow 2 0 0 1 0 1 0
BearsSaveLives 2 0 0 0 0 1 1
Big Deal 2 0 0 0 0 1 1
JJ 1 0 0 0 0 1 0


The above only represents games that involved the NFCN or NFCS.  If you wish, the leader board for those who weren’t too “busy” to pick all the games is here.  I’ve also stopped posting all of you who have yet to get a point in CYST.  I know you claim that it is because you’re not picking the games, but we all know that it is because you suck.




Wondering why some of the names have a different background color?  Well, that’s because a feature was added to the CYST site.  If you click on My Account on the top right of the CYST site (when you’re logged in), you will see my todo list for that page, but also a color picker.  If you choose a color there (and click update), that color will be the background on the site in tables where your name appears.

Wild card weekend, and we have NFCS games on Saturday (Atlanta at Los Angles Rams) and Sunday (Carolina Panthers at New Orleans Saints).  There are only a total of 4 games this weekend, so you should stop being a bitch boi and pick them all.  Go, go make your picks.  How do you get to the site so that you can pick games?  Well, that’s a good question.  If only there was a uniform resource locator in the form of a hyperlink.