What to Hate About San Diego

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I am a hater of all things. I hate you, you and you. I don't don't know you and I hate your guts. I wish all the bad things on Earth to happen to you and nobody else. Now excuse me, but I have to go fill your mother's dish.

I, so far, am really happy about the response to this column. It’s purpose is to clown the city of the Packers’ next opponent. Not just in a sports sense but in a cultural sense. This week we get to play the San Diego Chargers. San Diego is a city with a lot of military personally, and one that has some idyllic weather. So what is there to hate about it? Well first, let’s rage hard into some fish tacos and find out.

1) Transplanted population. Part of this is the military, part of this is the location and weather. Seriously. Nobody is from this town, and nobody reps it. Drive around San Diego and you will see more people reppin’ LA than you will the town they actually live in. This town is like you tilted the entire country on its side and shook it.

2) It’s superficial. There is so little to bitch about in San Diego that people have to make up their own problems. If there was an idyllic town to to describe the term “First World Problems” it’s San Diego.

3) It lacks an identity. With its metro area being overtaken by Los Angeles to the North and Mexico to the South, it is largely being taken over by those two competing factions.

4) The Meatheads. While most people like the beach, even though I don’t personally, you can’t walk 20 feet on the beach in San Diego without running into someone that reminds you of Meathead Rob Lowe bruh.

5) The weather. How can you appreciate a 72 degree sunny day when every damn day is 72 and sunny? Unless the Lions happen to be in town, then it’s 105. Thanks LKP.

6) Qualcomm Stadium. This might just be the biggest piece of shit in major American professional sports. This place was a shithole when it was called Jack Murphy Stadium 20 years ago. This building should be condemned. I’m actually kind of surprised the lights still work there

7) Comic-Con. Let’s take every dork, dweeb and nerd who hasn’t ever gotten laid and bring them all together in a toxic soup of dorkiness.

8) Rent. It should not cost this much to live that close to Tijuana.

9) The food. Fusion cuisine is not supposed to have an identity. It is supposed to be a mishmash of different cultures. Unfortunately, this is what San Diego’s identity is. Equal parts California and Mexico, but nothing of its own

10) The Chargers. They play in the 8th largest city in the United States, they have not won a single championship, and the one time they got to the Super Bowl they got clowned. They are like the Lions but somehow they wear a more effeminate shade of blue