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Five Yard Slant

Five Yard Slant

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Michael Gabriel

I am a hater of all things. I hate you, you and you. I don't don't know you and I hate your guts. I wish all the bad things on Earth to happen to you and nobody else. Now excuse me, but I have to go fill your mother's dish.

What to Hate About New England

April 5, 2016April 5, 2016Michael GabrielLeave a Comment on What to Hate About New England

Welcome to the Northeast.  Boston, Massachusetts.  There is no shortage of hate to reign down on these pretentious fucks.  Let’s get on with it. I pahked my cah at Hahvahd Yahd.  Hey fuckhead.  It’s okay to pronounce an “r” every now and then.  Try it.  It feels good.  New England Clam Chowder looks like somebody […]

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What to Hate About Pittsburgh

March 29, 2016March 29, 2016Michael Gabriel2 Comments on What to Hate About Pittsburgh

Welcome to the city of Three Rivers and the city that used t o be the capital of the steel industry. Pittsburgh is a city that has gone through a vast transformation in the past 20-30 as many of the steel mills closed up shop. It is now at the forefront of medical research. Perhaps […]

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Milestones Reached in 2015, and to Look to in 2016

March 28, 2016March 29, 2016Michael GabrielLeave a Comment on Milestones Reached in 2015, and to Look to in 2016

We saw some great milestones reached in 2015 in the NFC North. But that also means we have some things to look forward to in 2016. We have some individual milestones and some team milestones as well Adrian Peterson vaulted into the top 20 in career rushing yardage and now ranks 17th with 11,675 career […]

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What to Hate About Cleveland

March 22, 2016March 29, 2016Michael GabrielLeave a Comment on What to Hate About Cleveland

Welcome to one of the shittiest cities in all of America. The Mistake by the Lake, Cleveland Ohio. When your top selling point is that “Hey, we’re not Detroit” then you know you have hit rock bottom, unless of course you’re Detroit. Without further ado here are 10 reasons to hate Cleveland 1) The Cuyahoga […]

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