Week 2: Everything is Bad

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Week 2 of the NFL season is in the books. No fans, good quality games but the Lions and Vikings suck.

Here is the Week 2 Recap

Packers 42 Lions 21

The Lions built a 14-3 lead despite missing 6 starters (2 CBs, two Oline, best WR and pass rushing DT). They looked great on two drives both running and passing the ball. Big plays to Hockensen! Kerryon and Peterson were rushing well. The defense bent but didn’t break in 2 drives allowing 3 points only. Told my wife that the Lions were up 14-3 and she just laughed and said good luck with that.

I should have stopped watching. Packers went right down the field to start the second quarter with a long but easy TD drive. 14-10. Uh oh.

Lions still showed life and picked up two first downs. However, backup LG Oday Abousishi commited a dumb unnecessary roughness dive to the legs and killed the drive. Lions defense allowed two first downs but then a Bakhtiari holding penalty (my God they called holding on the Packers finally) stalled a drive when Duron Harmon crunched MVS and broke up a deep ball.

Detroit just had to run out the clock with some runs and Green Bay only having one time out. Bad run, sack then a run. But here is my boy backup Aboushi again. Holding penalty on a play not even meant to get a first down. Stops the clock. Great punt by Jack Fox and but Green Bay has time from their own 38.

Easy 62 yard drive and the Packers take the lead. 17-14. WTF Lions and Aboushi. WTF

Lions go aggressive and get into long FG range after a bad Packers offside right before half. Prater pushes the 57 yarder left and it remains 17-14. Well, they are still in it, I say to myself.

3rd Quarter. One play. 75 yards by Aaron Jones. Nothing special. Davis misses a tackle, Will Harris takes the worst angle ever. 24-14 in no time.

Lions no gain then two bad passes. 3 and out down 10. About to get ugly. Lions bend but actually don’t break. Jamie Collins picks up a sack to get the Packers out of field goal range. Packers punt and it goes into the end zone!! Oh wait, Agnew called for the fair catch and gets a 15 yard penalty. Lions start at own 5.

Ok backs against the wall, down 10, just need a couple first downs and try to get back in this game. Bevell dials up a *checks notes* out route on his own 5 yard line. Terrible Stafford throw and pick 6 by Chandon Sullivan. WTF was that shit. Down 31-14 real quick. Ball game.

Ok Lions are mad now!! Here we go. 2nd 10 and get 9 yards to Cephus. Ok run the ball and get the first. Lions go deep to *checks notes* midget Amendola. Incomplete and 4th down now. Ok you are down 17, might as well go for it. Naw, let’s punt the ball. WTF.

Long drive by the Packers but Lions hold up in red zone. Only a field goal!! Moral victory. 34-14 Packers now.

The Lions beast has been woken up in garbage time. Stafford slinging it all over the place. Swift looking good.  Stafford finds Marvin Hall for the TD. 34-21. It’s comeback time folks!!

3rd and 4, Lions can make a stop, 41 one yard bomb to MVS. WTF. Aaron Jones easy 14 yard TD. Packers go for 2 just to rub it in. 42-21. Most of this without Davante Adams too

Lions 3 and out with intentional grounding and a sack. Woof

Pack felt pity and went 3 and out. Yay

Lions turnover on downs. Stafford sacked twice more on this drive. Double Woof

Pack run out the clock. Yay

UGLY. Like Wisconsin women on only your first beer ugly.

Lions are 0-2 and look to have regressed on defense. Didn’t think that was possible.

Other North Games

Colts 27 Vikings 11

Woof. Kirk Cousins 15 QB rating with 3 interceptions. Colts many field goals but a few TDs. Ugly 0-2 start for Vikings. Maybe they miss Stefon Diggs, Joseph and their secondary. But Hunter gone is the biggest loss of the year so far.

Bears 17 Giants 13

Bears took 17-0 lead in first half. They almost blow it allowing 13 and the Giants with one last chance. Barkley tore his ACL so that really sucks for Giants fans. Bears an ugly ass 2-0. Like Illinois women on your first beer Ugly.

What’s Next

Packers 2-0 and 2-0 in division. They take on the Saints in the Super Dome Sunday Night. Big first test for them. This is the Packers division still.

Lions travel to the 2-0 Cardinals. 4th place schedule my ass. Maybe Golladay and Vaitai will actually play. More games like this and Patricia could be fired by the Week 5 bye week.

Bears go to Atlanta. Falcons blew a nice lead to the Cowboys. You are supposed to recover onside kicks Falcons. Bears love coming back. Match made in heaven for Chicago.

Titans at Vikings. Titans are 2-0 and more pain for the Vikings coming. Monster day for Henry and the Titans.

Is it *baseball, nope, hockey nope, basketball, nope season yet? All my teams suck now. Fin. Big Ten is back late I guess.