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Can't Miss Slants

Week 4 Power Rankings

PROCTOLOGISTICS

Yeah, I’m back.

With a quarter of the season over, there is no sign that any of you can slow your roll and quit overreacting. I figured I’d jump in and set you cucks straight. It’s like you fucks have never experienced a full season of football before.

I have no intention of explaining the situation for every team. I don’t have the time, and you wouldn’t understand it anyway.

Here’s the highlights:

  1. The Rams are the most complete team in the league.
  2. The Bears are NOT too high. It’s not because Trubisky has shown he can throw left, or get the ball down the field with accuracy. It’s because they have one of the two best defenses in the league.
  3. Atlanta is NOT to high. They lost 3 close games to three good teams. They’ll will be around, and competing later in the year.
  4. Green Bay is 1 Second coming performance by Aaron Rodgers from being tied with Minnesota for suckage. Their signature win is against the Bills for fucks sake.
  5. Minnesota’s defense sucks.
  6. Saints big win: Falcons, Big loss: Tampa fucking bay.
  7. Philly is regressing to the mean.
  8. The Lions suck.

IT’S TIME TO RANK ‘EM AND SPANK ‘EM

RankTeam
1Los Angeles Rams
2Kansas City Chiefs
3Chicago Bears
4Miami Dolphins
5Carolina panthers
6New Orleans Saints
7Tennessee Titans
8Jacksonville Jaguars
9Green Bay packers
10Cincinnati Bengals
11Atlanta Falcons
12Washington Redskins
13Philadelphia Eagles
14Seattle Seahawks
15New England patriots
16Los Angeles Chargers
17Pittsburgh Steelers
18Minnesota Vikings
19Cleveland Browns
20Baltimore Ravens
21Denver Broncos
22Tampa Bay Buccaneers
23Dallas Cowboys
24Indianapolis Colts
25Detroit Lions
26San Francisco 49ers
27New York Jets
28New York Giants
29Houston Texans
30Buffalo Bills
31Oakland Raiders
32Arizona cardinals