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Can't Miss Slants

Week 6 Power Rankings

Vikings fans have pure euphoria.

Falcons fans are not far behind.

Packers fans love the D.

Tampa Bay fans must be happy not to be dead last in the division.

Saints fans got to watch bemused from the sidelines.

Bears fans are, I am sure, resigned to their fate.

Carolina fans could not have seen this coming.

But nothing can match the feeling of being at Lions fan an getting a colossal fluke win over the Eagles.  After years, nay decades, of the Football Gods doing everything in their power to ensure that any and all flukes going against the Lions, something broke their way.  Perhaps with this as a start, inner Detroit can be rehabilitated, Flint’s water supply will clean up, Michigan will gain international recognition for its growing wine industry, and Draymond Green can punch dicks without consequence.  Its all looking up Michigan.  Enjoy.

RANKINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RANKTEAMSTUFF
1Minnesota VikingsJesus, why?
2New England PatriotsIts nice that the Bears sent a talented tight end to perennial contender. Rem
3Pittsburgh SteelersAs the loss to the Eagles fades, one notices that their margin of victory tends to be significant.
4Atlanta FalconsArguably they should be one spot higher after knocking off the top team in Denver.
5Denver BroncosLosing at home is never great, but doing so while allowing the Falcons to dominate the line of scrimmage defensively is especially troubling
6Seattle SeahawksBy virtue of Philadelphia's loss in Detroit, they slide up a spot.
7Green Bay PackersThe defense is stout and the running game was solid. Aaron Rodgers will come around at some point. Right? RIGHT??
8Dallas CowboysDismantling the Bengals is sort of losing its luster.
9Philadelphia EaglesIt is tempting to drop them even farther, but this is the team that destroyed Pittsburgh.
10Oakland RaidersThey keep winning and Derek Carr is rounding in the star everyone thought he might be.
11Buffalo BillsWinners of three straight, they make a big leap up from 19.
12Los Angeles RamsI still like some of what this team is doing despite a shellacking to a rising Bills team.
13Houston TexansYeah, Minnesota destroyed them. They destroy everyone, except the comparably game Packers.
14Washington RedskinsThey handed Baltimore its second loss on the road. Good enough.
15Kansas City ChiefsThey didn't play a game. So.
16Arizona CardinalsMaybe they are turning it around? Maybe?
17Cincinnati BengalsThis is probably generous, but I am having a hard time believing the team won't find its stride.
18Tampa Bay BuccaneersWay to crawl out of the cellar.
19New York GiantsGood lord, all the teams from here on out seem really bad.
20Baltimore RavensThey have a winning record, but I don't believe much in this squad.
21Detroit LionsI mean, I guess? Trash, but a nice fluke win.
22San Diego ChargersThe best losers I have ever seen.
23Tennessee TitansIt seems like the fundamentals are there, yet they are bad and not good.
24Indianapolis ColtsBeating the Bears is not nice and mean.
25New York JetsTheir losses are all to good teams, but shouldn't you win at least some of those?
26Carolina PanthersFreeeeeeeeeeeeeee, freee faaaaalling
27New Orleans SaintsThey didn't play and dropped five spots. lol.
28San Fransisco 49ersKaepernick soon.
29Jacksonville JaguarsHolding strong during the bye. Nice.
30Chicago BearsHey, you played Indy tough. That's nice.
31Miami DolphinsI guess maybe you don't have a quarterback after all.
32Cleveland BrownsYep.