Week 7 Power Rankings

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I'm just an average Joe. I live in a shoe box in my parents driveway with two dead hookers. I sprinkle cocaine on my cereal, because coffee just doesn't do it for me. Most days I have mild to moderate diarrhea, and all of my erections last more than four hours.

Week 7 Power Rankings

It’s become very obvious by reading your comments, that none of you even have a rudimentary understanding of the game of football. I’l try to sort this out and keep it simple enough for your amoebic brains. BP had a good point the last time he attempted to do rankings, there is simply no reason to do all 32 teams. In order to cater to the predominant fans bases on this site, I will do the top 10 teams…and the NFC South.


  1. Chicago Bears – They are playing the rope-a-dope to a T. Trubisky is about to break out in route to his HOF career.
  2. New England Patriots – Belichick is so good at cheating, he’s begun using the NFL’s own rules against them.
  3. Seattle Seahawks – It’s becoming more and more apparent the Russel Wilson is the GOAT. I don’t see them losing again, until they meet the Bears in the NFCC game.
  4. New Orleans Saints – Brees injury was the best thing that could happen to them. It’s like removing the dirt to reveal the gem they had in Teddy B.
  5. Oakland Raiders – Minor stumble last week, but Jon Gruden has this team years ahead of schedule.
  6. Indianapolis Colts – Everybody thought there season was over when Andrew Luck announced his retirement, but this team is the definition of the little engine who could.
  7. Minnesota Vikings – They’ve been on a roll ever since Kirk Cousins apologized for sucking.
  8. Baltimore Ravens – Each year, one of the Harbaughs overachieves while the other sucks. This is John’s year.
  9. Kansas City Chiefs – The loss of Mahomes hurts, but the schedule favors them with the Packers and Vikings coming up.
  10. Green Bay Packers – There schedule is about to get hairy, and they can’t play all their games at home.

As I promised, I don’t want to leave out the rest of the NFC South…They suck balls.


Until next week, vaya con dios.