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Can't Miss Slants

CYST: Week 8

He's Back

The future HoF’er, Drew Brees, was back at practice yesterday.  Aren’t y’all excited?  I know I am.  If we lose one game with this bitch at the helm, it will be time to sit his ass and put the GOAT Teddy2Gloves back into the game.  LOL, can you imagine?  Teddy taking Brees’ job from him?  JFC, Shooter would be unbearable…I mean, more so than usual.

I’m thinking of adding a new feature to CYST and the best part is, you won’t have to do anything different than what you’re doing now.  I may add pick’em style leaderboard too.  I already have the data of who you picked to win and lose…and will have it going forward as long as you participate in CYST, so why not display it so we can mock each other?  Then again, I may not do it because it sounds like work and I’m pretty lazy.  Who knows?

Quick wrap-up on our teams from last week: The Packers barely beat Oakland; not sure how, but I’m sure they cheated.  The LOLions lost fair and square to Kirk Cousins and the God-damned Minnesota Vikings.  The fire sale is on in Atlanta after they dropped to 1-6; mathematically impossible for them to get to 11-5 now.  Nobody cares about Tampa and Carolina….

THE SAINTS CURB-STOMPED THE BEARS

It wasn’t pretty if you’re a Bears’ fan.  I mean, they sucked on both sides of the ball.  The only thing that saved their special teams is fat-assed Cordarrelle Patterson running back a kickoff, but the Saints did block a punt (and tipped another), so we’ll call it even on the special teams.  The Saints held the Bears to like 85 total fucking yards for the first 3 quarters.  The score makes the game look closer than it was, but most of those points came late in the 4th quarter when the Saints started letting fans play defense.  It was a beat down of epic proportion and I kind of feel sorry for the Bears’ fans on FYS.  Chin-up guys, at least you’re not Lions’ fans.

3 points handed out this week in CYST.  3 lousy, mother fucking points.  I don’t even know why I try anymore if you guys are just going to be mouth-breathing morons like Gundy.  LKP, LoW and Potatoes are the only ones to pick up a NFCN/S point.  I did nail the Chargers @ Titans game to pull ahead of Gabes in the all teams section, but that’s like the Ms Congeniality pageant.

WEEK 7 WRAP UP

Total Points:

  • LKP, 47, Los Angeles Rams over Atlanta Falcons

(LOL Falcons.)

Margin of Vctory:

  • Nope

(The margin is obviously zero.)

Team Points:

  • Zero

(Like the total of Miami and Cincy’s wins.)

Against The Grain:

  • LambeauOrWrigley, Minnesota Vikings over Detroit Lions (16.67%)
  • potatoes, Minnesota Vikings over Detroit Lions (16.67%)

(Just think, everyone else picked the Lions.)

Nailed It:

  • HAHAHAHAHA

(Nate still doesn’t have one.)

Leader board:

NCFN & NFCS Picks
FYS User Total Points CYST Points Scored Spread ATG Home Visitor
thenichels 9 1 1 4 1 1 1
Gabes22 6 0 1 2 0 1 2
LKP 6 0 1 2 2 0 1
jmac34 5 0 1 0 0 2 2
LambeauOrWrigley 5 0 0 0 1 3 1
natesweet 5 0 0 2 0 2 1
potatoes 5 0 1 1 2 0 1
0125 4 0 0 1 1 0 2
Curtis Fryer 4 0 1 1 0 0 2
bp 3 0 0 1 0 2 0
DanOnWis 3 0 0 0 1 0 2
Flavor Flav 3 0 1 1 0 0 1
dabearz84 2 0 0 1 0 1 0
Big Deal 1 0 0 0 0 1 0

 

The above only represents games that involved the NFCN or NFCS.  If you wish, the leader board for those who weren’t too “busy” to pick all the games is here.  This only contains those of you who actually scored a point in CYST.  Want to see your name here?  Do better and stop sucking.  It’s sad that Jammin can’t even get one right.  JFC, his life is in shambles.  Falcons suck, UGA sucks, the Braves suck, Taylor Swift sucks.  I’d almost feel for the dude if he wasn’t him.

YOU CAN SEE THE ‘ALL GAMES’ LEADER BOARD HERE!

Wondering why some of the names have a different background color?  Well, that’s because of a fantastic feature of the CYST site.  If you click on My Account on the top right of the CYST site (when you’re logged in), you will see my todo list for that page, but also a color picker.  If you choose a color there (and click update), that color will be the background on the site in tables where your name appears.

NFCN game tonight when the fire water drinkers of Washington take on the Leif (sorry Donny) Erikson’s of Minnesota.  I read something earlier that said that the last time these two teams played each other, Case Keenum was QB’ing the Vikings and Kirk Cousins was slinging it for the Redskins.  Who cares, right? Get your butt over to CYST and make a pick for all the games, or be a bitch and just pick the NFCN/S games.  Go, go make your picks.  How do you get to the site so that you can pick games?  Well, that’s a good question.  If only there was a uniform resource locator in the form of a hyperlink.

DON’T FORGET TO MAKE YOUR PICKS FOR THIS WEEK’S GAMES

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL LINK RIGHT HERE GUYS