I'm just an average Joe. I live in a shoe box in my parents driveway with two dead hookers. I sprinkle cocaine on my cereal, because coffee just doesn't do it for me. Most days I have mild to moderate diarrhea, and all of my erections last more than four hours.
PROCTOLOGISTICS
It’s time to drream, my brothas! Football season is upon us! Dream big my friends. Dream larger then life. I’m talking LKP dreams. I’m Talking SUPERBOWL!!!!!!!
Gentlemen!
It’s time to dream!
The Lions could finally be Superbowl Champions!…assuming they can figure out how to win a playoff game.
The Browns could stop browning…
This is the year that $100 million is the going rate for a technologically challenged coach, who wants to bring back the single wing offense, and nobody is more grateful for that than Bears fans.
My good men, this is the time to DREAM!
What if LKP finally gets it right?
What if Dom Capers was the problem?
What if Drew Brees was taller then 5′ 6 ” and had a penis?
The posibilities are endless!
Sooooo…
This will be my last power rankings.
I ain’t got it in me no mo.
I love you guys, but it’s time to move on.
LoW, MaC, Raji, CJannin, BP, BD, Donny, Andy, Gundy, 0125, Nate, nichels…MKE, Reggie, Potatoes, Curtis, and the rest of you degenerates, change is inevitable.
At any rate…you’re just going to have to survive without me.
Feel free to come up with your own witty comments.
Atlanta spot us 25 Falcons
Tampon Gay Fuckaneers
Carolina Who?
Saints got fleeced
Fuck the Packers
Vikings suck
LOLions
Go Bears!
IT’S TIME TO RANK ‘EM AND SPANK ‘EM
| Rank | Team |
|---|---|
| 1 | Philadelphia Eagles |
| 2 | New England Patriots |
| 3 | New Orleans Saints |
| 4 | Minnesota Vikings |
| 5 | Jacksonville Jaguars |
| 6 | Los Angeles Rams |
| 7 | Pittsburgh Steelers |
| 8 | Los Angeles Chargers |
| 9 | Atlanta faccons |
| 10 | Green bay Packers |
| 11 | Kansas City Cheifs |
| 12 | Tennessee Titans |
| 13 | Houston Texans |
| 14 | Carolina panthers |
| 15 | Baltimore Ravens |
| 16 | Chicago Bears |
| 17 | Buffalo Bills |
| 18 | Detroit Lions |
| 19 | Dallas Cowboys |
| 20 | Oakland Raiders |
| 21 | New York Giants |
| 22 | San Francisco 49ers |
| 23 | Cincinnati Bengals |
| 24 | Miami Dolphins |
| 25 | Seattle Seahawks |
| 26 | Washington Redskins |
| 27 | New York Jets |
| 28 | Indianapolis Colts |
| 29 | Denver Broncos |
| 30 | Tampa Bay Buccaneers |
| 31 | Arizona Cardinals |
| 32 | Cleveland Browns |