I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi where I learned the three rules of life: Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
A week of football is in the books and that means the rankings have changed. Since y’all aren’t going to read this, I’m just going to post this, then the ranking and scroll to the comments myself…
Rank Team Comment
1 Philadelphia Eagles Don't worry, they'll find a way to fuck it up.
2 Detroit Lions They might have a football team in Detroit
3 Miami Dolphins Fuck Florida
4 Kansas City Chiefs I mean, I joked that the LOLions would beat 'em, but wow.
5 San Francisco 49ers Fuck the 49ers
6 Los Angeles Chargers Something clever
7 Dallas Cowboys Dallas beats up on step-sister; moves into top 10; film at 11
8 Jacksonville Jaguars Sunshine was okay
9 Buffalo Bills OH NO BUFF-A-LO!
10 Cincinnati Bengals Joe, you're carrying the hope of all South Louisiana people
11 New Orleans Saints They won, so whatever.
12 Minnesota Vikings We may need to setup a suicide watch on Shooter. Not to stop it, but to film it.
13 Tampa Bay Bucs JFC Vikings. Baker Mayfield???
14 Green Bay Packers Cheese stinks
15 Baltimore Ravens Lamar still sucks
16 Atlanta Falcons I've got nothing
17 New York Jets They lost Rodgers, but won the war. Whatever.
18 Denver Broncos Sean Payton is off to a good start.
19 Las Vegas Raiders Life after Carr is going okay for them
20 New England Patriots Think Bill retires after this season?
21 Pittsburgh Steelers This is not a good team
22 Cleveland Browns Still think they're gonna suck
23 Los Angeles Rams Not sure why we're even keeping track down here in the 20's
24 Seattle Seahawks I still hate Pete Carol from his USC days
25 Washington Commanders Big rise for them, but it's really because everyone above them sucked
26 Chicago Bears Fuckin' Bears. Now we have to listen to the Packer fans gloat for beating up a tard
27 New York Giants The Giants are to the Cowboys as the Bears are to the Packers
28 Indianapolis Colts Wonder if they can talk Peyton Manning out of retirement
29 Tennessee Titans Lost to the Saints, but played tough, but still lost to the Saints
30 Houston Texans Any other season, this would be the worst team in the league
31 Carolina Panthers Luckily for Houston, Carolina and Arizona exist
32 Arizona Cardinals 15 losses to go