I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi where I learned the three rules of life: Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
A week of football is in the books and that means the rankings have changed. Since y’all aren’t going to read this, I’m just going to post this, then the ranking and scroll to the comments myself…
| Rank | Team | Comment |
|---|---|---|
1  | Philadelphia Eagles | Don't worry, they'll find a way to fuck it up. |
| 2 | Detroit Lions | They might have a football team in Detroit |
| 3 | Miami Dolphins | Fuck Florida |
4  | Kansas City Chiefs | I mean, I joked that the LOLions would beat 'em, but wow. |
| 5 | San Francisco 49ers | Fuck the 49ers |
| 6 | Los Angeles Chargers | Something clever |
| 7 | Dallas Cowboys | Dallas beats up on step-sister; moves into top 10; film at 11 |
| 8 | Jacksonville Jaguars | Sunshine was okay |
| 9 | Buffalo Bills | OH NO BUFF-A-LO! |
| 10 | Cincinnati Bengals | Joe, you're carrying the hope of all South Louisiana people |
11 | New Orleans Saints | They won, so whatever. |
| 12 | Minnesota Vikings | We may need to setup a suicide watch on Shooter. Not to stop it, but to film it. |
| 13 | Tampa Bay Bucs | JFC Vikings. Baker Mayfield??? |
| 14 | Green Bay Packers | Cheese stinks |
| 15 | Baltimore Ravens | Lamar still sucks |
| 16 | Atlanta Falcons | I've got nothing |
| 17 | New York Jets | They lost Rodgers, but won the war. Whatever. |
| 18 | Denver Broncos | Sean Payton is off to a good start. |
| 19 | Las Vegas Raiders | Life after Carr is going okay for them |
| 20 | New England Patriots | Think Bill retires after this season? |
| 21 | Pittsburgh Steelers | This is not a good team |
| 22 | Cleveland Browns | Still think they're gonna suck |
| 23 | Los Angeles Rams | Not sure why we're even keeping track down here in the 20's |
| 24 | Seattle Seahawks | I still hate Pete Carol from his USC days |
| 25 | Washington Commanders | Big rise for them, but it's really because everyone above them sucked |
| 26 | Chicago Bears | Fuckin' Bears. Now we have to listen to the Packer fans gloat for beating up a tard |
| 27 | New York Giants | The Giants are to the Cowboys as the Bears are to the Packers |
| 28 | Indianapolis Colts | Wonder if they can talk Peyton Manning out of retirement |
| 29 | Tennessee Titans | Lost to the Saints, but played tough, but still lost to the Saints |
| 30 | Houston Texans | Any other season, this would be the worst team in the league |
| 31 | Carolina Panthers | Luckily for Houston, Carolina and Arizona exist |
| 32 | Arizona Cardinals | 15 losses to go |