Why even bother typing something here? Y’all aren’t going to read it. Fuck it. Scroll to the bottom and STFU.
| Rank | Movement | Team | Comment |
|---|---|---|---|
1  | Push | Philadelphia Eagles | I almost dropped them to #2 |
| 2 | Push | Miami Dolphins | I almost raised them to #1 |
| 3 | Push | Kansas City Chiefs | Jammin wants to smell Travis Kelce's dick |
| 4 | Push | San Francisco 49ers | I really hate the 49's |
5  | Up 1 | Detroit Lions | Big game for LKP coming up |
| 6 | Up 1 | Buffalo Bills | Lived here for 20 years; still don't give a shit |
| 7 | Up 4 | Atlanta Falcons | Fuck the mother fucking Falcons |
| 8 | Up 6 | Pittsburgh Steelers | Omar Epps is a pretty good coach |
| 9 | Up 6 | Green Bay Packers | Donny was right even tho he's not getting any sex |
| 10 | Up 2 | Los Angeles Chargers | They have a lightning bolt thingy on their helmets |
11  | Down 4 | New Orleans Saints | Oh when the Saints…go marching out you fucks |
| 12 | Down 4 | Tampa Bay Bucs | Baker had two good games. |
| 13 | Down 3 | Baltimore Ravens | Lamar lost to Minshew. |
| 14 | Down 9 | Dallas Cowboys | You're lucky I didn't drop you below the Bears |
| 15 | Up 1 | Seattle Seahawks | How is Pete Carroll still alive? |
| 16 | Up 5 | Indianapolis Colts | Minshew Mania!!! |
| 17 | Down 4 | Jacksonville Jaguars | Sunshine? More like cloudy skies |
| 18 | Down 1 | Washington Commanders | Redskins. STFU. |
| 19 | Up 4 | Cincinnati Bengals | Joe played like shit, but they won |
| 20 | Up 6 | Cleveland Browns | It gets hard to come up with good stuff |
| 21 | Up 7 | New Engand Patriots | Ever wonder what Belichick's hoodie smells like? |
| 22 | Down 4 | New York Jets | Joe Namath really needs to die |
| 23 | Down 4 | Las Vegas Raiders | Y'all want Derek Carr back? |
| 24 | Down 4 | New York Giants | I'm old enough to remember when y'all were good |
| 25 | Down 3 | Tennessee Titans | Who cares? |
| 26 | Up 6 | Arizona Cardinals | Holy shit, they won a game! |
| 27 | Push | Los Angeles Rams | How the fuck did these tards win a Super Bowl? |
| 28 | Up 2 | Houston Texans | I don't know what this means for 0125 |
| 29 | Down 5 | Minnesota Vikings | You really disappointed me Shooter |
| 30 | Down 5 | Denver Broncos | Hey Sean, maybe you can talk Brees out of retirement |
| 31 | Push | Carolina Panthers | Thank God for the Bears |
| 32 | New | Duke | Only if Zion Williamson is playing |
| 33 | Down 4 | Chicago Bears | Too high |