Some teams moved up. Some moved down. One didn’t move at all.
Enjoy. Or don’t.
I really don’t care.
| Rank | Movement | Team | Record | Comments |
|---|---|---|---|---|
1  | Push | Philadelphia Eagles | 7-1 | Still here |
2  | Up 1 | Seattle Seahawks | 5-2 | Will someone kill that old man? |
| 3 | Up 1 | Dallas Cowboys | 5-2 | Moobs >>> MLF |
| 4 | Up 2 | Miami Dolphins | 6-2 | Some joke about Hootie and the Blowfish |
| 5 | Up 2 | Detroit Lions | 6-2 | Top 5 for LKP |
| 6 | Up 3 | Jacksonville Jaguars | 6-2 | Sunshine is doing pretty well |
7  | Down 2 | Atlanta Falcons | 4-4 | They suck, but they lead the NFCS |
| 8 | Up 3 | Baltimore Ravens | 6-2 | Racist comment about Lamar |
| 9 | Up 5 | Buffalo Bills | 5-3 | We have a lake effect snow warning for today |
| 10 | Down 2 | Pittsburgh Steelers | 4-3 | I really don't care |
| 11 | Up 4 | Minnesota Vikings | 4-4 | We'll send you Derek Carr for nothing in return |
| 12 | Down 10 | Kansas City Chiefs | 6-2 | Those T-Mobile commercials are stupid |
| 13 | Up 4 | Los Angeles Chargers | 3-4 | I've got nothing |
| 14 | Down 4 | Tampa Bay Bucs | 3-4 | I'm okay if a hurricane wipes out Tampa |
| 15 | Up 7 | New Orleans Saints | 4-4 | I'm okay if a hurricane wipes out New Orleans |
| 16 | Up 4 | Denver Broncos | 3-5 | Sean Payton kickin' ass and takin' names |
| 17 | Down 5 | Cleveland Browns | 4-3 | Poo is also brown |
| 18 | Down 5 | San Francisco 49ers | 5-3 | You're Joe Burrow's bitch |
| 19 | Up 5 | New York Jets | 4-3 | Didn't even need Aaron Rodgers |
| 20 | Up 5 | Cincinnati Bengals | 4-3 | LSU great Ja'Marr Chase plays here |
| 21 | Down 3 | New Engand Patriots | 2-5 | Hate them |
| 22 | Down 3 | Indianapolis Colts | 3-5 | Indifferent |
| 23 | Down 7 | Houston Texans | 3-4 | Don't care |
| 24 | Down 3 | Green Bay Packers | 2-5 | Almost dropped you below the Bears |
| 25 | Up 3 | Tennessee Titans | 3-4 | Maybe take some classes on how to play football |
| 26 | Down 3 | Chicago Bears | 2-6 | BEAR DOWN! |
| 27 | Down 1 | New York Giants | 2-6 | Meh |
| 28 | Down 1 | Los Angeles Rams | 3-5 | Stafford still sucks |
| 29 | Up 3 | Carolina Panthers | 1-6 | The Panties are earning their name |
| 30 | Down 1 | Arizona Cardinals | 1-7 | They'd probably be worse is Murray was playing |
| 31 | Down 1 | Las Vegas Raiders | 3-5 | Go back to Oakland you fucks |
| 32 | Down 1 | Washington Commanders | 3-5 | In command of last place |
I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi where I learned the three rules of life: Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.