Matt Flynn owns Detroit

CYST: Week 9

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I was born a poor black child. I remember the days, sittin' on the porch with my family, singin' and dancin' down in Mississippi where I learned the three rules of life: Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.


And pulled into a first place tie with Reggie.


I look forward to a new week of football, I really do, but I also dread it because it means we’re that much closer to the end of the season.  Not having football for those months is painful, but it’s nothing compared to the crap that gets discussed on that site that Andy built all by himself, with no help from anyone what-so-ever, when there is no football.  However, just like climate change, we can ignore the approaching end of the 2017 season because New York City isn’t underwater and there is still football.

Before we go any further, I’d like to touch on a topic that reared its ugly head yesterday.  Donny, totally out of character, was being a dick.  For reasons unbeknownst to anyone, he decided to start talking crap about my favorite football team, the 5-2 New Orleans Saints.  At first, I was like, ‘WTF?’ and then I was all like, ‘Dude.’ until I was finally like, ‘Whatever.’  I thought no more about it until I was laying in bed last night and thinking of you guys.  I do this often because fapping to porn is weird, or so I’m told.  Anyway, there I am, laying in bed, and it dawned on me.  Donny wasn’t lashing out to be a dick or because he thinks the Saints are a bad team; no, he was lashing out because his life up to this point, is a disappointment.  Think about it.  He eats turkey burgers, has a gay dog, and an unfinished deck.  When it was just that, he was able to contain the pain, but now, his favorite team if in danger of finishing second in the NFCN.  That was the proverbial straw.  Donny cracked.  We need to embrace Donny.  Give him big hugs to let him know that no matter how shitty his life is, he still has friends who will totally rag him for being a bitch boi.  GOT EM.

Last week was pretty slow on the CYST front.  A grand total of 4 points were awarded, and two of those went to Jammin.  How shameful is that shit?  Pretty exciting week coming up though; outside of Alabama anally penetrating LSU Saturday, we have three divisional games.  We could have had four, but Chicago and Minnesota decided to sit this weekend out because their pussy ain’t shit (much like their fans).  We have Atlanta at Carolina, Tampa Bay at New Orleans and on Monday night, Detroit will give up 6 TDs to yet another Green Bay backup QB.  The Falcons/Panthers’ game is bothering me.  I should pull for Atlanta because Carolina is in second place, but I have a hard time doing that for two reasons.  1) I think Carolina is done.  I mean, they just traded away their leading receiver in an already anemic offense, so Atlanta losing probably helps me in the long run.  2)  Most importantly, FUCK THE FALCONS.  Okay, read some stuff below here to see if you did something, then ignore the link below to where you can make your picks and go to the comment section where can pretend that you have a big dick…except Glove, he doesn’t have to pretend.  Maybe LoW too, but his dick was painted white, so I don’t know if that nullifies the largeness of it.




Total Points:

  • Nope, nope, nope

(I’m running out of ways to explain how much y’all suck)


Margin of Vctory:

  • DanOnWis, Pittsburgh Steelers over Detroit Lions by 5 points
  • LKP, Minnesota Vikings over Cleveland Browns by 17 points

(There you go LKP, I won’t change the rules to take away your point.)


Team Points:

  • CJammin, Cleveland Browns 16 points in a loss vs. the Minnesota Vikings
  • CJammin, New York Jets 20 points in a loss vs. the Atlanta Falcons

(This is the shamefullest of shits)


Against The Grain:

  • Nope

(I’m going to take this section away Nate)


Nailed It:

  • Your mother

(Other than that, nothing)


Leader board:

FYS User Total Points CYST Points Scored Spread ATG Home Visitor
DanOnWis 10 1 3 2 0 3 1
Reggie 10 0 1 2 0 2 5
CJammin 7 0 0 3 1 2 1
potatoes 7 1 1 1 0 1 3
Staffords_Glove 7 0 1 3 0 1 2
Horse 6 0 2 2 0 2 0
LKP 6 0 0 2 2 1 1
bp 5 0 1 1 0 2 1
thenichels 5 0 1 1 1 2 0
Curtis Fryer 4 0 0 1 0 2 1
sgunderson17 3 0 0 0 0 1 2
TheHairy1 3 0 0 1 0 1 1
0125 2 0 0 1 0 1 0
AllSaintsRow 2 0 0 1 0 1 0
Big Deal 2 0 0 0 0 1 1
Donny33 2 0 0 0 0 1 1
jmac34 2 0 1 0 0 1 0
natesweet 2 0 1 0 1 0 0
JJ 1 0 0 0 0 1 0
Cheeky Bastardo 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Established in 1965 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Flavor Flav 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
G&G 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
krush12684 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
LambeauOrWrigley 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Maized And Confused 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Metal Forever 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Preparation_A 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
SDL 0 0 0 0 0 0 0


The above only represents games that involved the NFCN or NFCS.  If you wish, the leader board for those who weren’t too “busy” to pick all the games is here.  MKE almost got a point, but then he didn’t.




Wondering why some of the names have a different background color?  Well, that’s because a feature was added to the CYST site.  If you click on My Account on the top right of the CYST site (when you’re logged in), you will see my todo list for that page, but also a color picker.  If you choose a color there (and click update), that color will be the background on the site in tables where your name appears.

No NFCS or NFCN game tonight, but the Bills at the Jets may be a good game.  Buffalo is 5-2, but we all know that they’re not as good as their record and the Jets are looking for a little revenge after the Bills dropped the Temple of Syrinx on them in week one.  Whether you believe me or not, go make your picks.  How do you get to the site so that you can pick games?  Well, that’s a good question.  If only there was a uniform resource locator in the form of a hyperlink.