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Can't Miss Slants

CYST: Week 3

Ouchie

Football. Yeah, whatever. Meaningless game played by a bunch of bitch ass bitches with weak thumb ligaments. It’s a stupid game. I hate it. I’m only doing this because…actually, I don’t know why I’m doing this. Oh yeah, it’s either this or work, so congrats FYS, I’m more devoted to you than I am to work.

Look at the image up there. The “ouchie” look on his bitchy face. That’s the look of Teddy Bridgewater is your new starting quarterback. Aaron Donald added his name to the list of shitty people named Aaron. FUCK!

Okay, I’m calm. CYST. What did we learn last week? Well, we learned that no matter how much it sucks to have Bridgewater as your starting QB, at least he isn’t Kirk Cousins. Did y’all see that pass? Woof. I mean who throws up a ball like that into double coverage? That’s the $84 million question. It’s no surprise the Packers won that game. What is a surprise is the Packers’ fans crowing about how good they are when we had to listen to them all offseason about how bad the Bears and Vikings were. Shameful shit. We also learned that the Bears have a kicker and he’s now the biggest offensive threat on their team and that the Lions somehow beat the Chargers. I have no idea how that happened. On the NFCS side, all the teams suck. Period. Full stop.

People like BD, LoW, Potatoes, Curtis, BP, Gabes and MiB picked up a single point. LKP was the big winner with 2 points only because he picked the LOLions and got an Against The Grain point for that. For the second week in a row, both MKE and I failed to record a point…I should probably start cheating.

WEEK 2 WRAP UP

Total Points:

  • Curtis Fryer, 30, Chicago Bears over Denver Broncos
  • Flavor Flav, 37, Green Bay Packers over Minnesota Vikings
  • Gabes22, 37, Green Bay Packers over Minnesota Vikings

(Sad bunch of individuals here.)

Margin of Vctory:

  • bp, Atlanta Falcons over Philadelphia Eagles by 4 points
  • LKP, Detroit Lions over Los Angeles Chargers by 3 points

(BP is a Falcons’ fan.)

Team Points:

  • Big Deal, Los Angeles Rams 27 points in a win vs. the New Orleans Saints
  • LambeauOrWrigley, Los Angeles Rams 27 points in a win vs. the New Orleans Saints
  • potatoes, Chicago Bears 16 points in a win vs. the Denver Broncos

(People picking against my Saints. I hate them.)

Against The Grain:

  • 0125, Detroit Lions over Los Angeles Chargers (16.67%)
  • LKP, Detroit Lions over Los Angeles Chargers (16.67%)

(Perennial losers picking a perennial loser.)

Nailed It:

  • Nah.

(None of you got it right.)

Leader board:

NCFN & NFCS Picks
FYS User Total Points CYST Points Scored Spread ATG Home Visitor
bp 2 0 0 1 0 1 0
Curtis Fryer 2 0 1 0 0 0 1
Gabes22 2 0 1 1 0 0 0
jmac34 2 0 0 0 0 1 1
LambeauOrWrigley 2 0 0 0 0 2 0
LKP 2 0 0 1 1 0 0
0125 1 0 0 0 1 0 0
Big Deal 1 0 0 0 0 1 0
dabearz84 1 0 0 0 0 1 0
Flavor Flav 1 0 1 0 0 0 0
natesweet 1 0 0 1 0 0 0
potatoes 1 0 0 0 0 0 1

The above only represents games that involved the NFCN or NFCS.  If you wish, the leader board for those who weren’t too “busy” to pick all the games is here.  This only contains those of you who actually scored a point in CYST.  Want to see your name here?  Do better and stop sucking. This means you, Glove.

YOU CAN SEE THE ‘ALL GAMES’ LEADER BOARD HERE!

Wondering why some of the names have a different background color?  Well, that’s because of a fantastic feature of the CYST site.  If you click on My Account on the top right of the CYST site (when you’re logged in), you will see my todo list for that page, but also a color picker.  If you choose a color there (and click update), that color will be the background on the site in tables where your name appears.

The shitty Thursday night game is Tennessee at Jacksonville.  Holy crap that’s bad. You should make that pick today even if you’ll be doing something more fun than the game. Literally anything will be more fun than this game. Get your butt over to CYST and make a picks for all the games.  How do you get to the site so that you can pick games?  Well, that’s a good question.  If only there was a uniform resource locator in the form of a hyperlink.

DON’T FORGET TO MAKE YOUR PICKS FOR THIS WEEK’S GAMES

THIS IS THE OFFICIAL LINK RIGHT HERE GUYS