What to Hate About Bye Weeks

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I am a hater of all things. I hate you, you and you. I don't don't know you and I hate your guts. I wish all the bad things on Earth to happen to you and nobody else. Now excuse me, but I have to go fill your mother's dish.

Well, we have gone through a few weeks in the season of hate. This week up on our schedule is……………uhhhhhhhhhhhhh. NOBODY! That’s right! There is nobody on the slate for Packers fans to hate this week, so instead we must lament the fact that since the Packers aren’t playing, and thus, there is no meaningful NFL football on until the following week. So let’s see what there is to hate about the bye week.

1) The alternatives. I will bet anything that since the Packers and Bears are off this week, that I somehow, someway get the Vikings at the Lions. If I wanted to see a shit show, I could just turn on Bravo or E!

2) Your significant other. Since the Packers aren’t playing this Sunday my girlfriend thinks it’s okay to make plans. This Sunday I have to attend a Pumpkin carving and am volunteered to make my Chicken Wings in a family Chicken Wing cook off.

3) The highlight shows. How the fuck do you expect me to watch NFL highlights when I have no video evidence to prove that Aaron Rodgers is the best QB on the planet?

4) The post bye-week Power Rankings. It’s inevitable. Since we won’t win this week, some horseshit team that did will overtake the Packers just because they looked good against some pathetic weak ass team like the Saints.

5) What else am I gonna watch. I am a native Wisconsinite. The Brewers season ended, the Bucks haven’t started. I mean Jesus Christ, you better not make me watch the fucking Cubs.

6) Domestic Violence. Need you all be reminded that when you don’t have NFL football to watch, domestic Violence goes up. Thanks Ray Lewis.

7) No excuse to pig out. What is my excuse on Sunday going to be to eat 4 bratwursts, 12 wings, 3 plates of nachos, and drink a 6 pack of craft beer that isn’t Blue Moon? Fuck my life.

8) I get no leeway when I say “Shut the fuck up, the game is on” People will call me out on that shit when I am watching the God Damn Lions play the Vikings.

9) I have to actually talk to my family. I mean, when I go over to Sunday dinner, do I actually have to listen to what my family has to say now that I don’t have the Packer game to distract me from the fact I am hanging out with the family?

10) I have to go negative with my shit talk. I can no longer prop up the Packers in my shit talk as all Packers news is “old news” in order to be current the Lions and Vikings will have to supply me with fresh material.

Next week we get the Broncos, so load up on those Rocky Mountain Oysters until you figure out what they are made of, that is.