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Can't Miss Slants

What to Hate About New York (Giants Edition)

Welcome to the city that never sleeps, the Big Apple, New York City. A place that everyone has to do at least once in their lifetimes whether they wind up liking it or not. Today, we give people 10 reasons to hate that town.

1) According to the popular song “Empire State of Mind” there is a lyric that states, “and since I made it here, I can make it anywhere” Why the fuck is this a point of pride for New York? I can understand it being an individual point of pride, but for the city? Basically it says that New York is the most stifling and oppressive place for you to choose to earn your living, so come on down and live amongst our 8.4 million.  By some estimates, you can have the same standard of living as you get on $50,000 in Houston as you can making $124,000 in New York

2) The cramped quarters. A city only 30% larger than Chicago with triple the population, let’s just say that you aren’t afforded a ton of real estate. Standard apartments. a 750 square foot apartment in Manhattan will run you in excess of $3,000 per month. If you want to pay less, get something in the 300 square foot range or live in some drug ravaged, rat infested shithole.

3) Tourists. They are fucking everywhere. And it’s not isolated to certain areas like in most towns. They are really every-fucking-where you go

4) NYC Income Tax. What the Fuck! You have to pay income tax to the city just for the pleasure of living and working in this worthless pile of shit? If you make 25K-50K you pay 3.591%, if you make 50K-500K it’s 3.648% and if you make more than a cool half a mil, then it raises up to 3.876%. This is in addition to property taxes, sales taxes and all other taxes this city levies upon its populace.

5) No right on red. Yep, you can’t take a right at a red light in NYC. Imagine how many times you use this handy trick per day, week, month and year. Now imagine not being able to use it and how much time that might cost you.

6) Waiting. Everywhere you go there is a line. Say goodbye to walking right up to the cash register and getting in and out. Do you have to go to Office Max to get some office supplies. I guess, I will see you in about 4 hours

7) Rats. They are everywhere in town, and I am not talking about lab rats, that are somewhat cute. These are huge fucking city rats, that you are afraid are going to bark at you and steal your wallet

8) Live sets. You might think it would be cool to walk into your favorite TV or movie star who happens to be shooting their TV show or movie, just where you so happen to be. It loses its cache really fast when you have to reroute in some of the worst traffic jams in the country, or have to hoof it to another subway station because the one you have to get off at is closed due to it being used as a live set.

9) Yankees Fans. Seriously fuck you guys right in the pussy. I hate Yankees fans with a fucking passion. They have all the beautiful history and rich tradition as the Packers do, but without the charm of the little guy who could. The Yankees are the 14 year old kid playing on the Little League team. They are the team, who gets to benefit from the lopsided rules in baseball in favor of the large markets. They are the bully taking your lunch money and your young stud pitcher who you hoped to build your staff around for the next 10 years.

10) The trash.   Not only do you have to take a vacation just to see grass, but you will be shocked that it is not littered with used drug syringes with soiled condoms sticking off of them like disgusting little flagpoles, empty potato chip bags and half eaten chicken wings.

We go to the AFC next week.  I am going to withhold the city and division I am going to for now, but it should be interesting.